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LKW aka BING HWA
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Friday, January 5, 2007

Charlton have apparently agreed a price of 2.7 million for Arsenal youth player Anthony Stokes. In line of Arsenal gaffer Arsene Wenger's policy of only taking foreign youngsters, Stokes will apparently be the millionth youngster to not make it through from the Gunners' youth ranks.

Not being satisfied with already having ruined the careers of Jermaine Jenas, Jermain Defoe, Wayne Routledge as well as Andy Reid, Tottenham head honcho Martin Jol is reportedly shaping up to have a go at Defoe-clone Darren Bent with 7 million, who has been underachieving Charlton's only decent player this season. Recently sacked-and-hired Charlton manager Alan Pardew has rejected the bid, insisting it is a ridiculous bid for a player of Bent's quality. Just when you think he is showing signs of intelligence, however, he reveals that he will be willing to let Bent go for a price above 7 million, effectively killing Charlton's hopes of making it out of the Premiership gutter. Tottenham are reportedly shaping up for a 7.001 million pound bid.

Anton Ferdinand, who displayed his scoring prowess last week in West Ham's 0-6 mauling by Reading, is reportedly the subject of interest from the Fat Man over at North London, Martin Jol.Highly rated Watford youngster Ashley Young is also reportedly being pursued by Jol, who, in an act of unparalleled benovelence, is willing to release Wayne Routledge as well as Calum Davenport from their misery in exchange. Run, Young, run. While, you're at it, remind Anton to do so too. You know how forgetful he is.

Jol is also reportedly interested in Southampton wonderkid Gareth Bale, supposedly the next Micah Richards(who was the next Theo Walcott who was the next Wayne Rooney), but his pursuit has so far been fruitless as Southampton manager George Burley has refuted any rumors of Bale moving away from the Stadium of Light. Burley will face immense pressure to keep Bale as Premiership heavyweights such as Manchester United and Liverpool are also reportedly turning their heads towards the south.

David Bentley has recently been apparently spotted walking around Old Trafford hopefully. Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson's (1986-Forever) interest in Bayern Munich's Owen Hargreaves had been well-documented, and a 20 million pound bid is reportedly on the table. However, in the light of Paul Scholes' unexpectedly good partnership with Michael Carrick, Manchester United's midfield woes are perhaps rather less urgent than they were at the beginning of the season, freeing Ferguson up to pursue a replacement for Ryan Giggs in the form of Bentley as well as TNNNNBT(The Next Next Next Next Big Thing) Gareth Bale to replace aging club captain Gary Neville.

Former Charlton and current West Ham manager Alan Curbishley(whose vacated post at Charlton is now interestingly filled by ex-West Ham gaffer Alan Pardew) is reportedly seeking additions to his squad to help them escape the relegation zone in the forms of Matthew Upson, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Australia international Mark Viduka. All three players are reportedly unhappy at their lack of playing time recently, with Viduka and Upon having publicly pleaded for transfers, while Chelsea flop Wright-Phillips will surely want out of Stamford Bridge despite his muteness. Alan Curbishley was last seen asking Charlton chairman Richard Murray for a 200% increase in the food budget to accomodate the heavy, erm, heavyweight Australian.

That's all, folks!

-Hacjience Yukona



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