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LKW aka BING HWA
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Yx
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Monday, January 8, 2007

Once again, Tottenham Hotspur are at the hub of the January transfer window as manager Martin Jol seeks to turn averagely good players into spectacularly average players. First up is Charlton striker Darren Bent, who is reportedly the subject of a 10m pound bid from Jol. This deal, however, will be subject to Bent's fitness, as Jol is reportedly not keen on signing another player just to have him engaging in fellowship with the club physios. Hmm. Should have thought of that before signing Steed Malbranque, Mart.

Meanwhile, struggling West Ham look set to struggle even more as uncontented duo Anton Ferdinand and Nigel Reo Coker look set to leave the London club for Tottenham for a combined fee of 12m. Fellow West Ham alumnus Jermain Defoe on the other hand could possibly wreck his career further by moving over from the White Hart Lane bench to the Stamford Bridge bench, something that ex-Man City player Shaun Wright-Phillips could possibly identify with. Apparently, water supports water, as this unfounded rumor is lent credence by the similarly unfounded rumor that Alan Curbishley is looking to sign Alexei Smertin as well as Tal Ben Haim.

Man Utd's famous ROFL quartet of incompetents looks to be broken up further. Former flop Louis Saha has already broken free of his Utd curse by having been in hot scoring form this season, while Kieran Richardson is reportedly the subject of a bid from Newcastle, leaving us only John o' Shea and Darren Fletcher to hyperventilate at. Meanwhile, rival player Craig Bellamy could possibly be heading to Aston Villa for 9 million, while his ex-teammate Andy Todd must be shaking his head in disbelief as Wigan, Fulham and Portsmouth fight their way for his signature. In other news, the greatest goalkeeper ever, Jesus Christ is rumored to be returning last Christmas.

Luis Figo has apparently decided to end his career in a fizzle(albeit a rich fizzle) as he confirms his transfer to Al-Ittihad. Finally, the protracted Owen Hargreaves saga continues as Bayern Munich insist on a minimum fee of 20m for him. For more details, please check the pre-historical records.

-Hacjience Yukona

WEE

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