Surprisingly,
Martin Jol has decided to take a sabbatical from the transfer mill today, presumably taking to the runmill instead in an effort to lose weight. In contrast, Manchester United are dominating the tabloids. First up, the
Owen Hargreaves saga seems to be halting to a stop as Bayern Munich have apparently demanded a fee of as high as 25million from Manchester United. Glazer being Glazer, this is equivalent to threatening to bomb Old Trafford should the transfer occur. Further more, Bayern have also revealed to the media that they will only release him at the end of the season, meaning Man Utd might have to look elsewhere for midfield reinforcements, such as Bordeaux midfielder
Rio Mavuba. Should the transfer go through, Man Utd fans will be keeping their fingers crossed that Mavuba will not suffer the fate of the man so good they named him twice:
Eric Djemba-Djemba.TNNNNBT( The Next Next Next Next Big Thing)
Gareth Bale's agent has also reportedly stated that Bale is happy at Southampton and has no intention of moving to Old Trafford, meaning that Bale is confirmed to be turning up at Carrington next week. This could very well piss off former Manchester United Fan's Player of the Year
Gabriel Ivan Heinze, who has been unable to make him way into the team lately to to
Patrice Evra's fine form and is rumored to want a transfer to AC Milan.
Over at Anfield, the supposed fortress of Merseyside(except when
Martin Atkinson is refereeing),
Rafa Benitez is said to have secured the service of
Phil Jagielka for 9million and also looking to sign
Javier Mascherano from West Ham. FIFA, however, are supposedly unwilling to allow the transfer to go through as Mascherano would then have played for 3 clubs in 6 months. No worries, though, as Benitez has reportedly threatened Sepp Blatter with his infamous martial art skill of inducing giddiness, the long lost
Crouching Tiger Rotating Crouch skill.
Meanwhile,
Alan Curbishley is ready to splash his transfer budget on Arsenal’s
Freddie Ljungberg and right-back
Lauren and also Boro’s
Mark Viduka in hopes of saving West Ham from relegation. Elsewhere,
Arsene Wenger is said to have launched bids for both Marseille's
Franck Ribery and Ajax's
Ryan Babel in order to boost his side’s firepower.
22Men.blogspot.com however recommends the club does not do so for their own safety,as
George W. Bush might just bomb the newly-built Emirates Stadium on the accusation of possession of weapons of mass destruction.
Also, Sheffield United, Blackburn and Portsmouth are racing to sign Belgian Al Rayyan striker
Emile Mpenza to increase their goal tally. Chelsea is also rumoured to be preparing to swoop for defender
Josip Simunic, who currently holds the record of highest number of yellow cards received in a match.
Manchester United full-back
Phil Bardsley has joined Aston Villa on loan until the end of the season. His presence in the team would probably allow
Olof Mellberg to revert back to centre back. Also at Villa Park,
Milan Baros’s future at the club is looking set to end as manager
Martin O'Neill has stated that he will consider any suitable offers coming from any clubs for Baros, probably as he is aware that he will never be able to win any trophies to satisfy Baros's fetish for breaking them. O’Neill is also set to make Liverpool’s Craig Bellamy move clubs again with a 6million bid. Bellamy is reportedly delighted O'Neill has finally made the move for him. In a recent interview with FourFourTwo magazine, he said,
Aston Villa are one of the best clubs in Europe. I am confident I can win all the trophies I want at Villa.
In other news,
Santa Claus and
Batman have finally come out of the closet and are reportedly getting married.
Finally, Chelsea loudhailer, oops,manager
Jose Mourinho is apparently about to be replaced by highly respected manager
Guus Hiddink as relations between Mourinho and Chelsea owner
Roman Abramovich has apparently hit an all time low. This might be highly credible if it is true that Abramovich has reduced Mourinho’s transfer budget from 2 billion pounds to 1 billion.
Jose Mourinho has angrily stated that he cannot expect to compete with the best clubs in Europe in the transfer market if his transfer budget is only 10000% of theirs instead of 20000%.
That’s all for today’s rumours.
Lalas/Hacjience Yukona Labels: Rumours
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2:20 AM
